Reality Check

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Today I’m going to show you what most people don’t tell you about becoming a Project Manager.

On paper, it looks like a smart career choice - structured, respected, well paid. And for many, it starts with a simple hope: profile, pay and progression.

By understanding the unspoken truths of this role, you’ll stop thinking “Is it just me?” and start recognising where the system sets you up to struggle. That awareness helps you take control and make better decisions about your development, career direction and support.

The problem is, most project professionals focus on doing the job well but neglect their own growth, boundaries and voice. They play the game but don’t realise it’s being played around them.

There will be no idealised fantasy of “rising up the ranks.” Instead, this newsletter will give you an honest look at what the job really demands and how to stay sane while doing it.

In summary…

• You’re leading without real authority

• You’re battling without proper support

• You’re progressing without mentorship

• You’re stuck between accountability and invisibility

Here’s a better way to see the role…

Learn to lead through influence, not authority

One of the most frustrating aspects of being a Project Manager is the illusion of control. You’re the person tasked with keeping the train on the tracks, but you don’t own the train, the tracks, or the timetable.

You’re expected to lead cross-functional teams, manage technical inputs, balance budgets and steer the programme. Yet most of the people you rely on don’t report to you. They don’t share your priorities and they have their own pressures. You can’t “make” them do anything, you have to influence, nudge, persuade.

That’s real leadership, but it’s rarely recognised as such. And without proper support, training, or authority, it leaves you exposed when things go wrong.

If you’ve ever sat in a room where everyone’s waiting for you to speak, but you are still waiting for answers… that’s what this looks like in real time.

You’re not doing it wrong. The structure is just broken.

What can you do?

Start small. Practice listening well, summarising clearly and calmly asking for what you need. Influence builds through consistency and credibility, not volume. Use every interaction as a chance to build trust, not just to chase action. And if your environment won’t give you authority, become someone whose presence carries weight anyway.

Build systems to beat the battle

Let’s be honest, project delivery often feels like one long fire fight.

The job title might say “Project Manager,” but most days you’re reacting, not managing. Someone didn’t deliver on time. A decision was delayed. A client changed the spec… again. And through it all, the deadline hasn’t moved.

You’re not set up to succeed. You’re set up to scramble.

You’re juggling priorities, solving problems, calming clients and chasing subcontractors, often in the same 60 minutes. And yet, few people ask: What support do YOU need to do this well?

There’s often no safe space to decompress, reflect, or plan. No consistent mentoring. No frameworks to rely on. Just a creeping sense of being overwhelmed and the silent expectation to “get on with it.”

This constant battling is not a reflection of your skill, it’s a failure of the system around you.

And it’s why burnout is so high in this profession.

What can you do?

You don’t need a full-blown PMO to create structure. Start with one: a weekly priorities board, a shared tracker, or a short Monday huddle. Choose tools that reduce mental load, not add to it. The goal is progress, not perfection. And when things go wrong (they will), treat it as signal, not failure. Adjust and reset. That is project management.

Seek out mentorship before you need it

Here’s the dirty little secret in many organisations:

Progression = Promotion = Pressure.

But it rarely comes with proper development.

You’re told you’re now the Project Manager, but you don’t get the guidance, feedback, or coaching that helps you grow into the role. You’re just given the role and expected to figure it out while under pressure.

No one sits you down and says:

• “Here’s how to handle difficult conversations.”

• “Here’s how to lead a project team through uncertainty.”

• “Here’s how to protect your energy and manage expectations.”

So you learn by trial and error. You carry imposter syndrome quietly. You look around, wondering if anyone else feels this way. And they do… I promise you.

And while you’re mentoring others - be it juniors, apprentices, new starters - no one’s mentoring you.

This isn’t sustainable and it’s not fair.

Everyone deserves someone in their corner.

What can you do?

Don’t wait for your company to develop you. Look sideways, outside and ahead. Join a community, book a 1-to-1, or message someone whose work you respect. Good mentors won’t hand you the answers, they’ll help you ask better questions. And you’ll grow faster with someone who sees you clearly, without the politics of your own org.

Own your value, even when it’s unseen

When something goes wrong on a project, people look for someone to blame.

When something goes right, they look for someone to praise.

And somehow, you’re rarely the person in either story.

This is the paradox of the PM role: You’re always responsible, but often invisible.

You hold everything together behind the scenes. You make 100 micro-decisions a day to stop things sliding off course, but because the problems never materialise, no one sees the work you’ve done to prevent them.

There’s a quiet resilience in what you do. A kind of strength that doesn’t shout, but over time, being overlooked can chip away at your confidence.

You stop expecting recognition. You start internalising the pressure. You forget what you’re actually capable of.

What can you do?

Keep a record. Seriously, write down the issues you’ve prevented, the tensions you’ve eased, the things that didn’t fall apart because of your calm input. You’re not boasting, you’re building evidence. When you see your own impact clearly, you’re more likely to advocate for yourself and others are more likely to take notice too.

The truth is, project management isn’t broken, but the way we support project managers often is.

You don’t need more hours, more pressure, or another template.

You need clarity, confidence and a sounding board that gets it.

Yours,

Gerwyn

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