Self Not Shelf

Welcome to issue #011 of Under the Surface. Each week, I share one thoughtful piece to help you grow, lead and thrive in the messy reality of project work. If something lands - or misses - I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you’re exploring what’s next, you can join the Pathfinder waitlist to go deeper with others on the same journey.

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You don’t need another certificate. You need to know yourself.

I say this as someone who used to measure progress by the number of frameworks I’d mastered and the letters that followed my name. Each course felt like a step up. Each qualification? Proof that I was serious. Competent. Capable.

But here’s the problem: the shelf doesn’t speak for you in the room. It doesn’t build trust. It doesn’t solve conflict. It doesn’t steady a team when everything starts to wobble.

And it definitely doesn’t tell you who you are.

We’ve been trained to think that credibility lives on the wall. But the truth is, what’s on the outside only works when it’s anchored to something deeper on the inside.

I used to believe success lived on the shelf.

Certificates. Qualifications. Frameworks. Each one felt like a step closer to credibility… a way to prove I was good enough. Like many, I’d been shaped by an education system that celebrates test scores and ticks in boxes. Over time, I kept stacking the shelf. But it never felt right.

The truth is, I’ve worked with incredible project professionals who are highly qualified and they lead with clarity, care and courage. I’ve also worked with some who had none of the official titles, but brought out the best in everyone around them.

The difference was never the paper. It was always the person.

The moment it hit me? Completing my APM PMQ. I’d finished another course but felt nothing shift inside. No deeper insight. No clearer direction.

That’s when I stopped chasing the shelf and started investing in the self.

It’s like showing up for a mountain hike with top-of-the-range kit but no idea how to use it.

You’ve seen it… the tactical backpack, the carbon fibre poles, the brand-new boots. Everything looks perfect on the outside. But five minutes into the hike, they’re struggling. The pack’s too heavy. They can’t find the map. They don’t even know how to adjust the straps. All the gear. No idea.

Project environments aren’t that different.

You can have every certificate going - PMP, APM, Agile, Lean Six Sigma - but if you don’t know how to read the room, hold space for others, or steady yourself in moments of pressure, then no amount of paper will help.

I’ve seen it first-hand:

• Project managers who follow the textbook to the letter, but can’t build trust.

• Team leads who can recite frameworks, but shut down in real conversations.

• Meetings where there’s more jargon than genuine clarity.

And the hard part? This gets rewarded.

We celebrate the shelf. We post the certificate. We validate the external achievement. But we rarely ask the more important questions:

• “Do you know who you are in a moment of conflict?”

• “Can you make someone feel safe when a deadline slips?”

• “Are you still effective when things go sideways?”

That’s the self. And it’s harder to fake.

It wears you down.

Not straight away. At first, it feels like momentum. Like you’re building something. More skills, more recognition, more options.

But slowly, a different feeling creeps in…

You start to wonder if you’re ever going to feel ready.

You look at the next certificate as the answer to the doubt.

You keep collecting frameworks hoping one of them will finally make you feel like a leader.

And when things go wrong on a project, your first instinct is:

“Maybe I’m missing something. Maybe I need another course.”

But it’s not a skills gap. It’s a clarity gap.

Because when we don’t know who we are - what we value, how we operate, how we show up under pressure - we keep reaching for external proof. We keep building the shelf, hoping it will eventually fill the space inside.

And it doesn’t.

That moment after the exam passes. That quiet after the LinkedIn applause. That sense of… now what?

If that sounds familiar, you’re not weak. You’re not lost.

You’re just working with the wrong metric.

So maybe it’s time to stop building the shelf and start investing in the self.

That doesn’t mean qualifications don’t matter. They do.

But they’re tools, not identity. Frameworks, not foundations.

Before the next course.

Before the next certificate.

Before the next checkbox that tells the world who you are, ask yourself:

• “What do I stand for… really?”

• “What am I like to work with when things go wrong?”

• “What would I trust myself to lead… even without the paper?”

Leadership doesn’t start with what you’ve earned.

It starts with what you embody.

And until you know yourself—what drives you, what anchors you, what breaks you and puts you back together, you’ll keep chasing the wrong evidence.

So, if you’re feeling the pull to go deeper, here’s your permission:

• Skip the next certificate.

• Sit with yourself instead.

• That’s where the real work begins.

Yours,

Gerwyn

Further Reading & References

• “Your outer world is a reflection of your inner reality.” – Joe Dispenza

• Self-Awareness as a Critical Capability for Project Managers – ProjectTimes.com

• Should a Project Manager Have Experience and Credentials? – ProjectManagement.com

PS – What we’re building at Coron Projects

I’m building something for project professionals who want more than just tasks and titles. Pathfinder is a new kind of membership built for people in engineering and construction who are ready to grow, lead and thrive on their terms. No corporate bullshit. No gatekeepers. Just the tools, support and mindset shifts that help you take ownership of your career.

It’s currently in development and if that sounds like something you might want in your corner, you can join the waitlist here and include “Pathfinder” in the message.